Friday, 28 December 2007

No more Hickman line

I had a lot on, yesterday, and I was far too tired by the evening to do any writing. Sorry about that.

I woke up a bit earlier than usual, or rather was woken for my blood and couldn't get back to sleep afterwards. The ward round was quite late in the morning, and filled me in on what was planned for the day; platelets first, to bring my clotting up, then cyclophosphamide and my intrathecal methotrexate in the afternoon. Quite a busy day. Everything went quite smoothly, but I really was quite busy; the only time I got a chance to lie quietly all day was after my intrathecal, and for some reason I just couldn't sleep then. Instead I watched the final hour of The Godfather Part II, which I started watching on boxing day. Eventually, around nine o'clock, I finally felt very tired indeed and went to sleep early.

Today was a lot quieter. It was decided that my Hickman line had finally become more of a liability than an asset, so it would be coming out at some point in the afternoon, which also meant that I'd need a peripheral line inserted. Apart from these little procedures, though, nothing out of the ordinary was planned. Mum came round to visit after lunch (fish and chips), and Shamus inserted a peripheral line into my right hand. It's weird being hooked up by my arm, again, after so long using the Hickman. I was given my cytarabine injection into the new line, then it was flushed and disconnected; it's nice being free of the lines. I had a little sleep, then Emma — one of the registrars here — removed my Hickman line. Due to the amount of damage I'd already done to it, it was literally just a matter of snipping the suture anchoring it to my skin and pulling it straight out. It wouldn't have held in for very much longer, even if it hadn't been removed today, I don't think.

Anyway, I'm quite tired again, now. Good night.

Wednesday, 26 December 2007

Happy Boxing Day!

Sorry for not updating yesterday, I don't really have an excuse other than festive laziness — I was too busy watching television during the time I'd normally have spent blogging to write anything.

Yesterday was quite good fun. Mum, dad, Francis, Gabriel and Madeleine all came up to visit in the morning, and brought me my presents. Socks and bottles of smelly stuff dominated the proceedings (the staff bought me a little nice little French Connection toiletries set), but I also got an impossible jigsaw puzzle, a Mighty Boosh DVD and a copy of More Brain Training for the DS. Apparently my brain age is 60.

All of the excitement got to me pretty quickly, and everyone cleared out after lunch to let me take a nap. I ended up spending most of the rest of the day on my own (aaaaw), which is a first for me on Christmas. Mum and dad came to visit again for a while in the evening, and we watched Doctor Who. After this, I channel surfed for a while and then went to sleep for the night.

I was woken up at 1 o'clock and then at 2:30am to have some blood taken for one of the tests they run against my antibiotics dosage, then again later in the morning for my regular full blood count sample. I'm sure there were other interruptions during boxing day morning, because I woke up at nine o'clock feeling pretty shattered. To compound this feeling of rubbishness, the relatively rich food I ate yesterday conspired with the fizzy lucozade I've basically been living on to give me quite a sore tummy throughout the day. As a result, I just tried to sleep as possible; I did watch the first third of The Godfather Part II, but apart from that I really did sleep – or at least doze – for most of the day.

Mum and dad were up to visit during the afternoon, and left to drive dad to the airport. He flew out to Uist for a short break on his own, just him and his cold, at the little house we have up there. He'll be back down in Glasgow next week, at which point Mum plans to go up to Uist with, with Madeleine I think. Anyway, Mum visited again in the evening, but I slept right through this; I only heard from the nurses later on that she'd been up.

I'm going to watch another hour of this movie now, I think, and then go back to bed. Good night.

Monday, 24 December 2007

'Twas the night before Christmas

And all through the ward, not a creature was stirring; not even the irrepressible Dr. Tansey. He'll be in tomorrow, though.

Mum's got my little room looking quite festive, with lights and a jar of baubles and a little plastic tree from Habitat. She complains that the nursing staff gave her a row for not making the place up earlier. I've even got a Christmas stocking hanging from my gas cylinder bracket, with a present or two waiting for me. The family will come up tomorrow morning to open their presents with me, so I'll wait. It'll be interesting to see what Santa brings The Man Who Has Everything Including Cancer.

I felt slightly better today than I have done, I don't know whether it's the last vestiges of the infection leaving me or if I'm just getting used to the trauma the antibiotics are visiting on my system. Hopefully I'll be well enough tomorrow to eat the roast potatoes which the kitchen have promised to send up for my Christmas lunch. If not, it'll be festive rice cakes and Lucozade for me. The nutritionist will be very disappointed with the missed opportunity to put on weight.

Nothing interesting happened with my treatment, today. I officially finished the second week of phase two, with the fourth injection of cytarabine, so I suppose that's worthy of a milestone; only two weeks of chemo left in this block. The decision seems to have been made to put in a new Hickman line at the end of the week, once I'm off the antibiotics; this one is really starting to fray at the edges, and they're quite worried that it'll be colonised by bacteria sooner, now, rather than later. It's been quite a while since I last went under the knife.

Anyway, slightly better or no, I still feel pretty rotten. I'm going back to sleep.

Sunday, 23 December 2007

Antibiotics

Writing up a bit earlier today, what with the scarcity of late-evening consciousness lately. Thanks to everyone who's been enquiring as to my health during my recent blog hiatuses. I've been trying to sleep as much as possible, lately, and feeling pretty awful during those times when I've been awake. The high-dose antibiotics have utterly wiped out my intestinal fauna, so I can't really eat anything at the moment. Not that I've felt like eating anything in the past three days; I attempted some lightly salted tortilla chips this afternoon, but I soon gave up when my stomach started making some rather alarming noises. I might try again with some rice cakes or Ryvita or something later, if mum manages to get a hold of any for me.

Today was pretty quiet. Mum was up for a while in the morning, and stayed through the ward round and my cytarabine intravenous. She seems a lot more familiar with this sort of pump-'em-full-of-antibiotics medicine than she's been with the acute cancer chemotherapy stuff, and I think that makes her feel a bit more secure; I think she deals with people who feel like I do right now every day, at work. Dr Tansey tells me there's nothing can be done for my antibiotic-induced diarrhoea until they're sure I don't have clostridium difficile, but hopefully by tomorrow the lab will have got back to us with that and they can start me on the codeine. For now it's water and potassium tablets, and just hope I don't lose too much more weight.

Whoops, so much for posting early; I fell asleep after typing this up, and never got around to signing off. Well, I can do that now: goodnight.

Saturday, 22 December 2007

Back inside

Sorry again about the lack of updates, I developed an infection on Thursday and this is the first time since that I've felt well enough to type anything.

My uncle John drove me into the hospital on Wednesday, quite late in the morning, for my day in. He hung around long enough to sort out my duvet and see me into the care of the nursing staff, but headed off soon afterwards as he's not one of my named visitors. The nurses lost no time in getting me hooked up with a line for my cytarabine, and set up a second line for my blood transfusions; apparently they wanted to get everything out of the way before my intrathecal at three. Thus, I got my chemotherapy in record time and had two units of blood pumped into me at a rate of one every two hours. I also met with the nutritionist again, and she was pleased that my weight was holding steady; she prescribed some Fortisips for use at home, all the same. After this, they wheeled me round and gave me my lumbar puncture and methotrexate, and then just left me to rest for a while. All the day's activity had worn me out a little, so I think I slept for a bit. I can't actually remember what I did for the rest of the day, so maybe I slept longer than I thought; mum probably came up to visit in the evening.

I was woken for my bloods on Thursday morning, but fell back to sleep until about ten o'clock; the rest of my morning was pretty uneventful. My chemo was scheduled for about two, but some emergency on the ward caused me to be forgotten about for a couple of hours. I was eventually remembered and dosed with cytarabine, and then I phoned mum up and had her collect me. She got me home for about six, by which point I was already feeling a bit rough; I'd been dozing off in the car. I went straight upstairs and slept until dinner time, but I wasn't really very hungry and left most of the potato and cauliflower curry which mum had made for me. I went back to sleep, but decided (nutritionist's orders!) that I'd better get something substantial for a snack; I ordered in a fish supper from the place up the road, and mum collected it for me. Once again, I didn't finish the entire meal; I managed most of it, though, and my sister finished it off for me. After I was finished, I went back to sleep. I spent most of the night waking up and thinking I might vomit, but I just put this down to post-chemo nausea and eating too much; when I eventually was sick, mum called the hospital just to be on the safe side. They decided that my temperature wasn't high enough to worry about, so just sent me back to bed. I spent most of the night waking up and wishing I'd vomit again, just to get it out of my system.

Friday morning came, and I got quite a long lie. I really was feeling pretty unpleasant by this point, so mum eventually insisted that I get up and move it into the hospital. My temperature on admission had jumped to 37.9, which was rather cause for concern when weighed with my vomiting and tiredness; the doctors came round in due course and started me on a course of massive doses of vancomycin, gentamycin and tazocin, plus fluids. Apparently the doses of antibiotics they give people like me are high enough that they need to test blood in between administrations, to make sure they've not boxed in my kidneys. Anyway, they got me started on those, measured my temperature again (38.4C, ouch), gave me a paracetamol and left me to sleep it off. And sleep I did; I can't have been conscious for more than about three hours in total over all of Friday. The treatment seems to work, though, and my temperature was already falling by the nighttime.

I've felt much better, today. They still have me on antibiotics, and I still feel pretty tired and lacking of appetite, but much better overall. Much reduced nausea and tiredness, for one thing, though the tiredness was quite nice in a way; just sleeping through everything was better than dozing through the way I did today. I got my chemotherapy quite early today, and later on a unit of blood. The blood is still going in just now, as a matter of fact. What with the chemo and antibiotics, I've been hooked up to a couple of lines pretty much all day; this looks set to continue for tomorrow, at least. Hopefully I'll get my freedom of the room again soon. For now, I'm going back to sleep.

Edit: oh yeah, I almost forgot about the title of this entry. Because of my infection, they won't be letting me out again for the duration of this treatment block; if I'd remained healthy, I'd probably have had another day or two outside, possibly just stretching to Christmas. As it is, I'm in from now until mid-January, which kind of sucks; I guess that's just the way it has to go. Oh well, I've put up with longer incarcerations.

Tuesday, 18 December 2007

Sorry for the lack of updates lately, I was too tired to write anything on Sunday and I had no internet access last night.

Sunday saw the last of my four days of daily cytarabine injections; the nurses are getting pretty good at streamlining the procedure, so I was out by about one in the afternoon. We decided to go for a drive up to the James Hamilton Heritage Centre, a park in East Kilbride which has a boating loch with a nice short (a mile or so) walk around it. In less cancer-riddled days, I learned to sail, kayak and windsurf there; I don't think the protocol lets me back in the water until about 2010. Maybe global warming will let me dispense with the wetsuit, by then. After a circuit of the park, we went to the Centre's cafe for some tea; me, mum and dad shared a pot, and Madeleine and her friend had hot chocolate and Rice Krispie cakes. I shot half a roll of Provia 100, then accidentally rewound it all the way past the leader when I was changing to some Tri-X 400+2 for shooting indoors; it would actually be worth buying a leader retriever, just so that I could use those last sixteen frames of expensive colour film. Maybe I'll do that.

Once we got home, I took a little nap. A mile is quite a big step up from our usual five-minute walks in the park, and it did wear me out a little. My thigh muscles are actually still a little tired from the exertion, even today. I got through the rest of the day quite quietly, but got really tired at about nine o'clock and just couldn't muster the energy to do anything for the rest of the night – blog-writing included – so I just went to my bed.

We didn't go into the hospital on Monday until quite late, so I had a bit of a long lie. I had no chemotherapy scheduled for the day, so I just had my blood taken and then we waited around for the ward round to reach us. The doctors gave me the once-over and mum got the chance to have a little chat with Dr Morrison, December's consultant. I wasn't due any treatment on Tuesday, so the doctors offered me the opportunity to just spend the entire day at home; the caveat being that my blood count revealed that I was quite anaemic, so it really would be at home – I'd be too tired to really do anything else. The alternative would be to come in for a couple of units of blood, which would take about eight hours to administer; I could spend Tuesday in either my own or in the hospital's bed, and I thought the former sounded better. The doctors prescribed me two units of red cells for Wednesday, and sent us on our way.

I'd invited some friends, Michelle and Joe, around for lunch at one o'clock. They arrived just as we did, so we went inside and chatted and listened to music and stuff while mum made a nice wild mushroom risotto for us. We also played some Mario Kart on the old Nintendo 64, which was brilliant fun, before mum called us in for lunch; the risotto was delicious, but apparently mum thought it was somewhat overcooked. Michelle and Joe left after lunch, Michelle having work at four; mum gave them a lift down to the train station, and I went to take a nap. I spent the remainder of the day in bed, nursing my anaemia, and then my internet connection connection cut out; apparently it was something wrong on Virgin's end, because it was working again in the morning. I took advantage of the break in connectivity to get some sleep.

As for today, it's been just as uneventful as predicted. I took some photographs of the cat in the garden while the light was nice, this morning, then went down to my gran's for a lunch of fish and boiled potatoes. Internet chess and listening to music occupied me for most of the rest of the day; I went downstairs for dinner, but apart from that spent most of the day in my room. Tomorrow will be pretty busy, what with the blood and intrathecal and all, and so I think I'll turn in now for an early night.

Saturday, 15 December 2007

A walk in the park

I got up early this morning, at about half past seven, and made pancakes for breakfast. I couldn't find a measuring jug, though, so I just experimented with adding milk a bit at a time until the pancakes spread in the frying pan the way they're supposed to. We headed into the hospital for half past nine, and arrived a little later; Angus was on today, and okayed me to have my chemotherapy in the morning rather than waiting in all day the way we've been doing. So, I got my blood taken and hooked up to a line, and got my chemotherapy at about half past ten. I had the dressing on my Hickman line changed while the fluids were going in — it completely disintegrated last night, somehow, and was just hanging together by the corners. Anyway, we were out and blinking in the daylight by one o'clock, and with my mercaptopurine in a phial in mum's bag; no need to go back into the hospital at all, today. Hooray.

We decided to go for a walk in Victoria Park, because it was just a quick drive away under the Clyde tunnel. We walked around the boating pond and saw the ducks, then saw a family feeding the swans on our way back, with the inevitable swan-on-child finger-pecking. I decided that the fossil grove was too far to walk that day, so we drove back home. I took a nap for a couple of hours, and had a microwave cannelloni for an afternoon snack.

I spent most of the rest of the day just pottering around the house. I took a couple of pictures of people around the place, and rested quite a lot. I also arranged lunch with a couple of friends on Monday, so that should be quite good. I think I'll go for a shower, now, and go to bed.